After several years working on staff as a church, and six more as a church planter, I’m now attending a church with my family. This has actually been a positive and refreshing time, and it’s given me a much different perspective things.
I don’t offer this list as a criticism…simply some observations from someone new to sitting in rows. Here are six thoughts from a church attender.
1. It’s hard for me to think about church during the week. As a pastor, I thought about church all of the time, and I assumed people in the church did the same thing. I’m still probably more interested than the average church attender, but I can’t really tell you what series is starting this week. I’m numb to the hype, and real life is busy.
2. Singing is strange. I know that worship is more than singing, and I believe that singing is a form of worship, but it’s just strange to stand in a room full of strangers and sing sings. It might happen after the 7th inning and at a birthday party, but it’s strange when a room full of adults break out into song. I’ve looked around, and by my estimations, maybe 30% of the room is participating publicly. And most guys are just standing there.
3. I don’t know the people you’re talking about. Again, I know more about the church world than the typical church attender, but the people sitting in the pews don’t know Bill Hybles and they thing Hillsong is something from Lord of the Rings. It’s awesome that you know those people, but my celebrities are on TV and not on church leadership blogs.
4. I can’t possibly remember all the information you’re throwing my way. I’m trying…I really am. But you gave me five points and three things to do. It’s really hard for me to remember the points from your sermon. Not to mention the six announcements you gave at the end of the service…I’ve forgotten those things by the time I picked up my kids.
5. I want to laugh more. I know it’s church, and I know you’re preaching a sermon. But I really do want to laugh a little. If you tell a funny story or say something witty, I’ll be more engaged. I’m not expecting a Vegas show when I come to church, but does it always have to be so serious?
6. I don’t like crowded rooms or parking lots. As a pastor, I loved the crowded room. As the person trying to find a seat, not so much. In fact, I would love it if the seat next to me was empty. And while I know a crowded parking lot is a sign of life, it’s hard for my kids to talk about what they learned in their class when trying to get out of a crowded parking lot. I know it’s shallow and I’m trying to get over it, but it’s where I am.
I know there are a lot of church leaders who read this blog, so I offer this list in humility, just to let you know what some of us “regular” people might be thinking. Every church is important and every person matters.
After a dozen years as a student pastor, and five years a church-starter, I'm the Chief Operating Officer of 
Very good post. I’ve been talking with several cop friends and getting their take on some stuff. It goes in the same vein as this post.
I too know exactly what you are talking about. As a 24 year old pastor trying to reach younger adults in Cleveland I know that their/my reservations about this topic run parallel to yours. Do you think that issues like this are at least partly why church growth has stagnated in recent years?
I think these reasons are (at least) partly why twenty-somethings are running away from the Church. I am getting a feeling from talking to twenty-somethings that liturgical issues (though phrased differently) are just as much of a boundary as theological ones.
As a church attender for many many years it is good to know other people think some of the same things as me. I would like to add something of my own. When you give us a verse to look up give us time to get there before you plunge ahead. Also I love my music to be worshipful AND inspiring, with music not always at the same dragging tempo. I think the majority of the time should be spend on worship and teaching with emphasis on teaching. To me music sets the tone but the message is what its all about.
Wow – this is GREAT!
I’m passing this along to our leadership.
i especially agree with “i don’t know the people you are talking about” i think this applies past and present…a pastor should always identify who they are quoting…Bill Hybels, pastor of Willow Creek Church in Chicago…this is true for past leaders also…i love it when a pastor says, “Charles Spurgeon said…” who in today’s world knows who Charles Spurgeon is? good post…
Quite an accurate assessment of public perception of church. I once had a pastor that challenged us to not use church as just a pit stop on the road of life. He said that church shouldn’t be only thought of as a place to go and recharge your spiritual batteries once a week. We as the body of Christ should give our lives much more thought as to why we are put here on a daily basis. He also continued to challenge everyone to be ministers everywhere and to start our own groups if we thought that there was a need for one. Real life is busy, but there should be time made for Jesus during each day.
My husband and I have been 2nd-career pastors. He was a design engineer for a large aerospace company for 12 years before we accepted our first appointment. It’s amazing how having been in the pew before we were in the pulpit affected our perspective on things. In some ways it was easier not to take things personally because he had done the work-80-hour-weeks-to-meet-a deadline thing. In other ways, it was also harder because despite having worked 80-hour weeks, he still was able to manage being an active church member.
We noticed that our pastor friends who went right from Bible college to the ministry projected their priorities on their congregations, and the ones who were either bivocational (as we were) or had previous professional lives seemed a lot more relaxed when it came to “the filled room.”
Great post and good insight!
Good stuff…great insights…much to mull over.
Any insights to how churches/pastors should respond to these?